4 Intoxication

Common practice on a Friday and Saturday evening is to find yourself remotely controlling a scene where somebody has done themselves a mischief among a crowd of rather “merry” humans.

Never in my life have I loathed alcohol as much as I do now following yesterday’s night shift.

For the first time I found my self contradicting my own advice where it comes to caller management, it’s hard not to raise your voice when dealing with a rowdy crowd and being passed from drunk caller to drunker caller.

To say I am exhausted doesn’t even scrape the surface, and so a long enthralling read is not what you will be getting from me today.

Instead, a sample of legitimate sentences delivered to my dear callers in the early hours of this morning in order of recurrence.

“Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me, listen to me, listen to me, listen to me, listen to me…” (recurring).

“Hello Police”

“Stop passing the phone”

“I can’t hear you”

“Please refrain from shouting”

“Ok, slow down”

“Repeat that please”

“Do not move the patient”

“Tell me where you are”

“You need to stay still so we can find you”

“Do not stand in the way of oncoming traffic”

“Do you need an emergency ambulance?”

“Do not poke the patient, again, do not continue to poke the patient”

“You need to listen to my instructions”

And finally…

“I’m sorry, you’re biting him and he’s not waking up?!”

And that my dear readers is why I am and will remain, T total.

KW x


The harder the battle, the sweeter the victory. — Anon

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3 The Thanks We Get

Amidst the media onslaught of damning headlines it is easy to overlook the things that as an organisation we do get right.

In a world enthralled by frivolous lawsuits targeting the NHS and their subsidiaries, it’s impossible to think that behind closed doors there are hard working individuals whom put patient care first and pride themselves on their compassion and ability to provide comfort to those truly in need.

I can assure you, we do exist! Far be it from me to gloat, but coming from a cutthroat corporate background where kindness was mistaken for weakness it’s refreshing to be commended for my dedication, nonetheless for doing something as simple as CARE.

Two callers in one week have taken the time to contact our control room during the aftermath of a life or death emergency to express their gratitude. I cannot begin to express how humbled I am, and how this feedback will help to shape my career as an EMD.

We appreciate and absorb both the positive and the negative feedback we receive, and cannot stress enough how important it is to continue providing this feedback to enable us to offer the best patient care possible.

If you’re unfortunate enough to require an emergency ambulance, rest assured that the person on the end of the phone is just that, a person, a person whom absolutely empathises with you, is determined to help and for the duration of your call will experience every emotion with you.

Stay safe out there.

KW x


The simple act of caring is heroic. — Edward Albert